No Way Out-A Pinoy Movie

A Filipino movie ( no English subtitles) of hetero and homosexual love, nightclub scenes of the Manila Gay Clubs, human trafficking and prostitution in the Philippines. A story of human depravity in the actor named Rufo- a bisexual, and a wife beater policeman. There are scenes of nudity and the movie is rated R but the acting is great. Sorry there is no English subtitles. Enjoy!





The Story of Adele H. (French: L'Histoire d'Adèle H.) is a 1975 French historical drama film directed by François Truffaut and starring Isabelle Adjani, Bruce Robinson, and Sylvia Marriott. Written by Truffaut, Jean Gruault, and Suzanne Schiffman, the film is about Adèle Hugo, the daughter of writer Victor Hugo, whose obsessive unrequited love for a military officer leads to her downfall.

The story is filmed on location in Guernsey, Barbados, and Senegal. The Story of Adele H. won the National Board of Review Award for Best Foreign Language Film, the French Syndicate of Cinema Critics Award for Best Film, and the Cartagena Film Festival Special Critics Award.

Halifax,1863. A young woman, Miss Lewly, comes to Halifax to search for Lt Pinson, with whom she is madly in love. Actually, she is Adèle Hugo, the second daughter of the great French literary figure and statesman. The Lt Pinson does not answer to her love and makes her understand it is hopeless. But as her obsession grows she keeps chasing and harassing him. This film about passionate yet obsessive love and self-destruction is based upon the real diary of Adèle Hugo.

Child of Terraces

A coming-of-age comedy/drama set in Tunisia. Twelve-year-old Noura is an impressionable boy who must learn to reconcile two conflicting worlds - the loving world of Moslem women and the vastly different, harsher world of men - while also dealing with his own budding sexuality.

Autopsy-French Movie with English Subtitle

Eric Mercadier, 45, is a police Lt. at Lyon's SRPJ. He's been married to Anne for more than 20 years. But everything will change when he meets Dr. Emmanuel Rivière. Here "autopsy" (which is the real French name of the movie) doesn't really refer to the post mortem examination (it does since the Dr. Rivière is a coroner) but can be divided in two : "auto" and "psy" which translated in English would mean "self psychology". If it can help understand the end of the movie.

I enjoyed this movie but not the Romeo and Juliet type of ending( tragic). Why? Here is one comment from the reader of the tragic ending.

"I was also shocked senseless by the ending of the movie. Perhaps they killed themselves because the love they had could never be the same again. So they fixed it in one last final moment: death. Sex and violence are often linked in these kind of movies. Love can be a violent (intense) change of awareness. The passion of trying to fulfill it physically can also be violent. He needed more time in the hotel, the next day while fixing the tire their meeting was violent. He was dead and in a rut with his work: he came alive.

Young, beautiful and intelligent, Trevor Holden (Brent Gorsky) is in a stalemate. Entangled in an unhealthy relationship with Darrell (Christopher Wyllie), a self-destructive heroin addict, and trapped at a low-paying job, Trevor finds scant comfort in Los Angeles' vapid party scene, where conversation rarely rises above inquiries like "So, are you an actor?" Worse still, he and his two best friends - roommate Andie (Melissa Searing) and singer Jake (Jay Brannan) - are being pulled apart by boredom and discontent. At the hospital for his boyfriend's latest overdose, Trevor finds a potential new beginning in Ephram (Eli Kranski), a medical intern with ambition, a warm demeanor and strikingly good looks. After they spend a romantic evening together, Trevor seems poised to make some changes. He begins by ending his relationship with Darrell and then strives to reconnect with Andie and Jake. But what should be a joyous event - a party celebrating a negative HIV test - results in Andie secretly discovering she is HIV positive because of a drunken hookup.

Later on, Trevor gets into a fight with Darrell at the party, which is overheard by the guests and causes a rift between Trevor and Ephram. Trevor is devastated by the tragic death of Darrell after an overdose. Ephram informs Trevor of Darrell's death and seeks to comfort him in the aftermath. After being offered a job in New York City, Ephram confesses his love for Trevor and suggests he abandon his life in Los Angeles and come live with him. Andie, reeling from her frightening revelation, seeks comfort in Trevor and pleads with him to not leave. Trevor is torn between pursuing the love of his life or staying to assist a dear friend in need. Trevor remains committed to bettering his life, but realizes that some people are too precious to abandon.



The best romantic movie from Korea that I have viewed so far. It will make you laugh and cry. The acting was also superb. It will be worth your time, and be prepared with a tissue.

The film stars Jun Ji-hyun as Officer Yeo Kyung-jin, an ambitious young female police officer serving on the Seoul police department. One day while chasing a purse snatcher, she accidentally captures Go Myung-woo (played by Jang Hyuk), a physics teacher at an all-girls school, who was actually trying to catch the thief. Later, Myung-woo discovers the stolen purse, but just as he picks it up, Kyung-jin spots him and tries to arrest him again. Kyung-jin is then given the job of escorting Myung-woo through a dangerous district, only to be distracted when she tries to break up a meeting between Russian Mafia and Korean gangsters. With Myung-woo handcuffed to her, Kyung-jin almost single-handedly brings down the two rival gangs (although she is helped when she accidentally causes the groups to start shooting at each other).

The first half of the film, told from Myung-woo's point of view, details the couple's growing attraction and love for each other, which climaxes with a trip to the countryside where Myung-woo tells Kyung-jin that if he were ever to die, he wanted to come back to earth as the wind. Soon after, he is almost killed in a freak automobile accident, but Kyung-jin saves his life.

The film takes a turn into the fantasy genre in its second half after Myung-woo is accidentally shot and killed by another officer (although the situation is such that Kyung-jin thinks that it was her shot that killed him) as Kyung-jin chases after a criminal. Kyung-jin falls into a suicidal depression over his death and attempts to kill herself several times, almost succeeding when she throws herself off a building, only to be saved when a giant balloon floats under her. Soon after, she experiences visitations from Myung-woo, who appears as the wind, sending her messages and, at one point, he even appears in her dreams in order to give her the will to live after she is nearly shot to death by a criminal.

Ultimately the film follows a similar path set out by the American film Ghost with Myung-woo and Kyung-jin communicating and sharing one final gesture of love before he moves on to the afterlife. Myung-woo said that he will whisper, when she hears him whisper in the wind, she will meet someone with a soul like him. Myung-woo told Kyung-jin that he will always be beside her inside a book with a photo left by Myung-woo in the restaurant before he rushed to meet Kyung-jin who was chasing the insane criminal.

In the first half of the film, Myung-woo told that his only memory of high school was his high school trip. The book and the photo is found and returned to Kyung-jin in the police station. The photo showed that on Myung-woo's trip, Kyung-jin was nearby. This proved Myung-woo's "I'm always beside you" was true to Kyung-jin. Kyung-jin rushed out to locate the finder of the book, ultimately ending up in the train station, where she is saved by Cha Tae-Hyun's character (credited as The Guy). Myung-woo whispered that The Guy is the one with the soul like him. Kyung-jin whispers that "he is always beside her."

The Mudge Boy

The Mudge Boy is a 2003 American film produced by Showtime. It was directed by Michael Burke and based on his 1998 short film Fishbelly White, featured in the compilation Boys Life 5. On January 17, 2003 it premiered at the Sundance Film Festival and in 2003 and 2004 it made the rounds at several gay and lesbian and independent film festivals around the United States. The region 1 DVD was released on May 9, 2006.

Duncan Mudge (Emile Hirsch) is a shy, isolated, sexually confused farm boy whose mother has recently died, leaving him under the supervision of a stern, depressed father. Duncan seems somehow to have transferred his love for the deceased mother to his favorite chicken, which he takes everywhere, even to bed. He has developed the odd habit of putting the chicken's head in his mouth -- to calm the animal, he says.

Duncan also likes to dress in his late mother's clothing, much to the distress of his confused father. The small, insular band of conformist teens that comprise adolescent social life in Duncan's world initially ostracize him, then allow him in to their circle only reluctantly, and largely for their own amusement. Duncan is beset with a profound sense of grief while trying to reconcile himself to a world in which he is a sexual alien. His crush on one of the local kids, Perry (Tom Guiry), leads to a violent resolution where Duncan relinquishes that which he loves.

Wuthering Heights

Wuthering Heights is a 2011 British romantic drama film directed by Andrea Arnold and starring Kaya Scodelario as Catherine and James Howson as Heathcliff. The screenplay, written by Andrea Arnold and Olivia Hetreed, is based on Emily Brontë's 1847 novel of the same name. Like most other film adaptations, the novel's second half, about the romance between Catherine Linton and Linton Heathcliff, is omitted.

In the late winter months of 1801, a man named Lockwood rents a manor house called Thrushcross Grange in the isolated moor country of England. Here, he meets his dour landlord, Heathcliff, a wealthy man who lives in the ancient manor of Wuthering Heights, four miles away from the Grange. In this wild, stormy countryside, Lockwood asks his housekeeper, Nelly Dean, to tell him the story of Heathcliff and the strange denizens of Wuthering Heights. Nelly consents, and Lockwood writes down his recollections of her tale in his diary; these written recollections form the main part of Wuthering Heights.

Nelly remembers her childhood. As a young girl, she works as a servant at Wuthering Heights for the owner of the manor, Mr. Earnshaw, and his family. One day, Mr. Earnshaw goes to Liverpool and returns home with an orphan boy whom he will raise with his own children. At first, the Earnshaw children—a boy named Hindley and his younger sister Catherine—detest the dark-skinned Heathcliff. But Catherine quickly comes to love him, and the two soon grow inseparable, spending their days playing on the moors. After his wife’s death, Mr. Earnshaw grows to prefer Heathcliff to his own son, and when Hindley continues his cruelty to Heathcliff, Mr. Earnshaw sends Hindley away to college, keeping Heathcliff nearby.

Three years later, Mr. Earnshaw dies, and Hindley inherits Wuthering Heights. He returns with a wife, Frances, and immediately seeks revenge on Heathcliff. Once an orphan, later a pampered and favored son, Heathcliff now finds himself treated as a common laborer, forced to work in the fields. Heathcliff continues his close relationship with Catherine, however. One night they wander to Thrushcross Grange, hoping to tease Edgar and Isabella Linton, the cowardly, snobbish children who live there. Catherine is bitten by a dog and is forced to stay at the Grange to recuperate for five weeks, during which time Mrs. Linton works to make her a proper young lady. By the time Catherine returns, she has become infatuated with Edgar, and her relationship with Heathcliff grows more complicated.

When Frances dies after giving birth to a baby boy named Hareton, Hindley descends into the depths of alcoholism, and behaves even more cruelly and abusively toward Heathcliff. Eventually, Catherine’s desire for social advancement prompts her to become engaged to Edgar Linton, despite her overpowering love for Heathcliff. Heathcliff runs away from Wuthering Heights, staying away for three years, and returning shortly after Catherine and Edgar’s marriage.

When Heathcliff returns, he immediately sets about seeking revenge on all who have wronged him. Having come into a vast and mysterious wealth, he deviously lends money to the drunken Hindley, knowing that Hindley will increase his debts and fall into deeper despondency. When Hindley dies, Heathcliff inherits the manor. He also places himself in line to inherit Thrushcross Grange by marrying Isabella Linton, whom he treats very cruelly. Catherine becomes ill, gives birth to a daughter, and dies. Heathcliff begs her spirit to remain on Earth—she may take whatever form she will, she may haunt him, drive him mad—just as long as she does not leave him alone. Shortly thereafter, Isabella flees to London and gives birth to Heathcliff’s son, named Linton after her family. She keeps the boy with her there.

Thirteen years pass, during which Nelly Dean serves as Catherine’s daughter’s nursemaid at Thrushcross Grange. Young Catherine is beautiful and headstrong like her mother, but her temperament is modified by her father’s gentler influence. Young Catherine grows up at the Grange with no knowledge of Wuthering Heights; one day, however, wandering through the moors, she discovers the manor, meets Hareton, and plays together with him. Soon afterwards, Isabella dies, and Linton comes to live with Heathcliff. Heathcliff treats his sickly, whining son even more cruelly than he treated the boy’s mother.

Three years later, Catherine meets Heathcliff on the moors, and makes a visit to Wuthering Heights to meet Linton. She and Linton begin a secret romance conducted entirely through letters. When Nelly destroys Catherine’s collection of letters, the girl begins sneaking out at night to spend time with her frail young lover, who asks her to come back and nurse him back to health. However, it quickly becomes apparent that Linton is pursuing Catherine only because Heathcliff is forcing him to; Heathcliff hopes that if Catherine marries Linton, his legal claim upon Thrushcross Grange—and his revenge upon Edgar Linton—will be complete. One day, as Edgar Linton grows ill and nears death, Heathcliff lures Nelly and Catherine back to Wuthering Heights, and holds them prisoner until Catherine marries Linton. Soon after the marriage, Edgar dies, and his death is quickly followed by the death of the sickly Linton. Heathcliff now controls both Wuthering Heights and Thrushcross Grange. He forces Catherine to live at Wuthering Heights and act as a common servant, while he rents Thrushcross Grange to Lockwood.

Nelly’s story ends as she reaches the present. Lockwood, appalled, ends his tenancy at Thrushcross Grange and returns to London. However, six months later, he pays a visit to Nelly, and learns of further developments in the story. Although Catherine originally mocked Hareton’s ignorance and illiteracy (in an act of retribution, Heathcliff ended Hareton’s education after Hindley died), Catherine grows to love Hareton as they live together at Wuthering Heights. Heathcliff becomes more and more obsessed with the memory of the elder Catherine, to the extent that he begins speaking to her ghost. Everything he sees reminds him of her. Shortly after a night spent walking on the moors, Heathcliff dies. Hareton and young Catherine inherit Wuthering Heights and Thrushcross Grange, and they plan to be married on the next New Year’s Day. After hearing the end of the story, Lockwood goes to visit the graves of Catherine and Heathcliff.

EMMA-Jane Austin-Part 1 to 4

Part 1 part 2 At the end of part 2, clicked for part 3 and 4. Enjoy!

The film describes a year in the life of Emma Woodhouse, a congenial but naïve young woman who thinks of herself as a romantic matchmaker in her small community in early-19th-century England. When her governess, Miss Taylor, gets married and goes to live with her new husband, Mr Weston, Emma proudly takes credit for having brought the couple together. Her father and their old family friend George Knightley dispute her claim and disapprove of her trying to make more matches, but she ignores their warnings and sets her mind on setting up Mr Elton, the minister who performed the Westons's marriage ceremony, with Harriet Smith, an unsophisticated young woman just entering society.

As a close friendship develops between Emma and Harriet, it becomes clear that Harriet is being courted by Robert Martin, a farmer who has known Harriet since she was a girl. When Mr Martin proposes to Harriet, she is inclined to accept, but she has come to rely heavily on Emma's advice, and Emma persuades her to reject the proposal. Meanwhile, Mr Elton has been expressing a desire for Emma by taking an interest in a picture she drew of Harriet and by giving her a riddle for a book of riddles being compiled by Harriet. Emma misinterprets this as interest in Harriet, but when Mr Elton and Emma are alone, he fervently declares his love for Emma herself, and she finally realizes her mistake. She rejects his pleas, and he later marries another woman, who turns out to be a vain socialite who competes with Emma for status in the community.

Over the next few months, various gatherings show who loves whom among Emma's friends:

Emma is briefly attracted to a charming, gallant young man named Frank Churchill, Mr Weston's son who comes to visit from London, but Emma soon decides to set him up with Harriet. Frank Churchill is revealed to have a secret engagement with a shy, pretty woman named Jane Fairfax. Harriet has no interest in Frank, preferring Mr Knightley, who was the only man who would dance with her at a party. Mr Knightley danced with Harriet only out of politeness, and is starting to fall in love with Emma.

The conclusion of the story begins when Emma ridicules a poor woman named Miss Bates during a picnic, after which Mr. Knightley angrily scolds Emma and leaves town for a while. She finds herself thinking about him while he's away, but doesn't realise she loves him until Harriet expresses interest in him. When Mr Knightley returns, he and Emma cross paths in a meadow and have a conversation that begins awkwardly but ends with him asking her to marry him and her gladly accepting. The news of their engagement upsets Harriet, who avoids Emma for a while, but returns a few weeks later, engaged to Mr Martin. The film ends with Emma and Mr Knightley's wedding.

SENSE AND SENSIBILITY

When Mr. Dashwood dies, his estate, Norland Park, passes directly to his only son John, the child of his first wife. His second wife, Mrs. Dashwood, and their daughters, Elinor, Marianne and Margaret, are left only a small income. On his deathbed, Mr. Dashwood extracts a promise from his son, that he will take care of his half-sisters; however, John's selfish and greedy wife, Fanny, soon persuades him to renege. John and Fanny immediately take up their place as the new owners of Norland, while the Dashwood women are reduced to the position of unwelcome guests. Mrs. Dashwood begins looking for somewhere else to live.

In the meantime, Fanny's brother, Edward Ferrars, a pleasant, unassuming, intelligent but reserved young man, visits Norland and soon forms an attachment with Elinor. Fanny disapproves the match and offends Mrs. Dashwood with the implication that Elinor is motivated by money rather than love. Mrs. Dashwood indignantly speeds her search for a new home.

Mrs. Dashwood moves her family to Barton Cottage in Devonshire, near the home of her cousin, Sir John Middleton. Their new home lacks many of the conveniences that they have been used to, however they are warmly received by Sir John, and welcomed into the local society, meeting his wife, Lady Middleton, his mother-in-law, Mrs. Jennings and his friend, the grave, quiet and gentlemanly Colonel Brandon. It soon becomes apparent that Colonel Brandon is attracted to Marianne, and Mrs. Jennings teases them about it. Marianne is not pleased as she considers Colonel Brandon, at thirty-five, to be an old bachelor incapable of falling in love, or inspiring love in anyone else.

Marianne, out for a walk, gets caught in the rain, slips and sprains her ankle. The dashing, handsome John Willoughby sees the accident and assists her. Marianne quickly comes to admire his good looks and outspoken views on poetry, music, art and love. Mr. Willoughby's attentions are so overt that Elinor and Mrs. Dashwood begin to suspect that the couple are secretly engaged. Elinor cautions Marianne against her unguarded conduct, but Marianne refuses to check her emotions, believing this to be a falsehood. Unexpectedly one day, Mr. Willoughby informs the Dashwoods that his aunt is sending him to London on business, indefinitely. Marianne is distraught and abandons herself to her sorrow.

Edward Ferrars then pays a short visit to Barton Cottage but seems unhappy and out of sorts. Elinor fears that he no longer has feelings for her, but feels compelled, by a sense of duty, to protect her family from knowing her heartache. Soon after Edward departs, Anne and Lucy Steele, the vulgar and uneducated cousins of Lady Middleton, come to stay at Barton Park. Lucy informs Elinor of her secret four year engagement to Edward Ferrars, displaying proofs of her veracity. Elinor comes to understand the inconsistencies of Edward's behaviour to her and acquits him of blame. She is charitable enough to pity Edward for being held to a loveless engagement by his gentlemanly honour.

As winter approaches, Elinor and Marianne accompany Mrs. Jennings' to London. Upon arriving, Marianne writes a series of letters to Mr. Willoughby which go unanswered. When they finally meet, Mr. Willoughby greets Marianne reluctantly and coldly, to her extreme distress. Soon Marianne receives a curt letter enclosing their former correspondence and love tokens, including a lock of her hair and informing her of his engagement to a young lady of large fortune. Marianne is devastated, and admits to Elinor that she and Willoughby were never engaged, but she loved him and he led her to believe he loved her. In sympathy for Marianne, and to illuminate his character, Colonel Brandon reveals to Elinor that Mr. Willoughby had seduced Brandon's fifteen-year-old ward, and abandoned her when she became pregnant.

In the meantime, the Steele sisters have come to London as guests of John and Fanny Dashwood. Lucy sees her invitation to the Dashwoods' as a personal compliment, rather than what it is, a slight to Elinor. In the false confidence of their popularity, Anne Steele betrays Lucy's secret. As a result the Misses Steele are turned out of the house, and Edward is entreated to break the engagement on pain of disinheritance. Edward, honourably, refuses to comply and is immediately disinherited in favour of his brother, gaining widespread respect for his gentlemanly conduct, and sympathy from Elinor and Marianne who understand how much he has sacrificed.

In her misery over Mr. Willoughby's marriage, Marianne neglects her health and becomes dangerously ill. Traumatised by rumours of her impending death, Mr. Willoughby arrives drunkenly to repent and reveals to Elinor that his love for Marianne was genuine. Threatened with disinheritance because of his immoral behaviour, he felt he must marry for money rather than love, but he elicits Elinor's pity because his choice has made him unhappy.

When Marianne is recovered, Elinor tells her of Mr. Willoughby's visit. Marianne comes to assess what has passed with sense rather than emotion, and sees that she could never have been happy with Mr Willoughby's immoral and expensive nature. She comes to value Elinor's conduct in a similar situation and resolves to model herself after Elinor's courage and good sense.

Upon learning that Lucy has married Mr. Ferrars, Elinor is grieved, until Edward himself arrives to reveal that Lucy has jilted him in favour of his wealthy brother, Robert Ferrars. Edward and Elinor are soon married and in a very few years Marianne marries Colonel Brandon.

PERSUASION- JANE AUSTIN

A movie worth your time if you love Jane Austin novels More than eight years before the novel opens, Anne Elliot, then a lovely, thoughtful, warm-hearted 19 year old, accepts a proposal of marriage from the handsome young naval officer Frederick Wentworth. He is clever, confident, and ambitious, but poor and with no particular family connections to recommend him. Sir Walter, Anne's fatuous, snobbish father and her equally self-involved older sister Elizabeth are dissatisfied with her choice, maintaining that he is no match for an Elliot of Kellynch Hall, the family estate. Her older friend and mentor, Lady Russell, acting in place of Anne's late mother, persuades her to break the engagement.

Now 27 and still unmarried, Anne re-encounters her former love when his sister and brother-in-law, the Crofts, take out a lease on Kellynch. Wentworth is now a captain and wealthy from maritime victories in the Napoleonic wars. However, he has not forgiven Anne for rejecting him. While publicly declaring that he is ready to marry any suitable young woman who catches his fancy, he privately resolves that he is ready to become attached to any appealing young woman except for Anne Elliot.

The self-interested machinations of Anne's father, her older sister Elizabeth, Elizabeth's widowed friend Mrs. Clay, and William Elliot (Anne's cousin and her father's heir) constitute important subplots.

Gospel of Deceit

Is there anything better than picking up a handsome stranger at a church picnic? No, not a handsome stranger that goes to your church, just some dude who happens to be watching you at the park.

If you think this sounds like a good idea, make sure to check out "Gospel of Deceit," a Lifetime gem from 2006. Within the first 15 minutes of the movie, a successful preacher and his wife have met a leather- and jean-jacketed young man, played softball with him, invited him to dinner, hired him on as their "handyman," and given him the keys to their church so he can sleep in the basement. What could go wrong? The Handsome Drifter

EVERYTHING, of course. Emily, the preacher's wife, goes to bed wearing a tight silk nightie, so it won't surprise you to find that she's soon having sexy dreams about the new stranger (who's almost a spitting image of Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, so I'm just going to call him Mac from now on). And who could blame her? Mac is always doing manly things like fixing her car, and even though none of the trees have leaves and you can see the actors' breath, he takes off his tight black t-shirt to wipe the imaginary sweat from his 6-pack abs.

Even though Ted, Emily's husband, is a preacher, he's a total asshole (like just about all LMN husbands). Emily is trying to help him with his new TV career, but he hates her meddling into his business matters. While Emily gets belittled by her husband, Mac continues to saunter around in jeans and a solid color t-shirt, and to make her even her hornier, her quilting circle keeps gossiping about him. So Emily goes to the church in the middle of the nigh--yes, the one Mac lives in--to pray that she'll stop having dreams about get dry-humped in her nightie on the living room floor.

Unfortunately, Mac and a sexy saxophone soundtrack are there waiting for her. When he throatily asks her why she prays, she says it makes her feel love, and that it's more fulfilling than other kinds of love she's felt. "Maybe it's meant to fulfill your soul," Mac says, getting closer, "and leave the other kid of fulfilling to your husband...or lover." Emily kisses him passionately, and soon they're in his church basement bed, saxophone trilling and his back rippling. The next day, Emily can hardly look her parishioners in the face as she hands out hymnals....

But then that very night she's back on top of Mac, breathing heavily in a completely different nightie. She's gotta quit this! But Mac says he loves her, and that he doesn't find fucking a preacher's wife in the church basement immoral. "People can pick the wrong people to be with!" Mac yells as Emily starts to walk out the door.

But it turns out that the wrong person is Mac. In fact, as soon as Emily leaves, he gets a mysterious call on his cell. "Just relax and hold up your end, I'll get the money!!" he says. Mac has Emily meet him at a bar that only a guy with a leather jacket would know about. Emily hustles past the pool table in horror, but before she can finish complaining about the venue, Mac tells her he needs $50,000. When she refuses, he threatens to blackmail her, then tells her that he's a convict. "Why are you acting this way?" she whimpers. "MAYBE THIS IS THE WAY I AM, DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT?!" he screams, then winks.

But things are about to get worse--and I don't mean the scene where Emily takes her hands off the wheel of her car while praying and almost gets hit by a truck. I mean the scene which contains one of the most awesome Lifetime movie twists in the history of television: Mac tells Emily that he knows her deep, dark secret--that she once had an incest baby with her father. And...HE IS THAT INCEST BABY!

I was too busy laughing to really see Emily's reaction, other than that she runs away yelling "noooo!!" as we all would. Naturally, she's soon stealing money from the church collection to give to her son/lover, but everyone just assumes Mac stole it, along with the family sedan. Still, Emily goes insane and--why not?--goes out into the front yard completely naked and starts babbling about Adam and Eve.

It turns out that Ted met her in an insane asylum after she gave birth to Incest Baby and tried to commit suicide. She was so pretty, Ted never asked her why she had slit her wrists, so it comes as a shock to him when she admits, naked on the front lawn, that she has an IB and that IB is Mac. Oh, and they're fucking. Ted is disgusted, and leaves her on the lawn to sob.

The next morning Emily wakes up in the hospital. "Why am I here?" she asks. "Well, you're crazy," the nurse does not say. Instead, the only reason she offers is, "Your vitals were a little erratic, but you're OK now." (She doesn't seem to think it's odd that someone who simply had "erratic vitals" wouldn't remember the previous evening.) Oh, and guess what? Emily's pregnant!!

I know what you're thinking. It's what everyone who has ever watched this jewel in Lifetime's "Affairs of the Heart" crown thought at this moment: DOUBLE-INCEST BABY!! But the fact that this baby is most likely a DIB is never mentioned in the film. Too hot for censors, or just a really bad script? Either way, I spent the next 20 minutes yelling, "Isn't ANYBODY going to mention that this woman is carrying a double-incest baby? Get that crazy lady a paternity test and/or abortion immediately!!"

Alas, a woman getting an abortion in a Lifetime movie is even less likely than a low-income woman getting non-biased advice about her ladyparts in a red state (ha!). Emily happily carries around her probably-DIB, except for one more brush with almost-suicide via the last non-safety razor in America. But instead of killing herself, she simply shaves her legs and gets to cleaning Mac's old room. There, she finds a note that indicates that someone had paid him to show up to that fateful picnic where everyone was wearing 5 layers of clothing in an attempt to not show how freezing it was outside.

When Emily confronts Mac, there's yet another twist! He's not her IB after all! He's just some random dude her husband hired to sully her name! Emily seems more smug that greatly, greatly relieved that she didn't have sex with her IB. But she just can't believe her husband knew about her IB and would set her up to have sex with a handsome drifter!

Mac gives her back the money, and she brings it to Ted and tells him that Mac was all, yo, your husband hired me to have hot sex with you and then tell you I was your Incest Baby. Ted denies everything, then says that God told him the baby was his. Problem solved! Except...Ted secretly wants Emily dead! Man, he could have saved a lot of trouble with this murder plan in the first place.

So Ted meets up with Mac at the crowded leather-jacket-only bar (where no one will notice an immaculately dressed preacher), and I'm still a little let down that the baby is definitely not a DI- or even IB, and that no one seems to know where the real IB is. Meanwhile, Emily is finding out from their family doctor that her husband had a vasectomy without telling her two years ago (yes, just like in My Stepson, My Lover). Ruh-roh!

At this point, it's not entirely clear: a) why Mac would give Emily back the bounty she stole for him, then agree to help murder her for only $50,000. (I kept expecting him to exclaim, "$50,000! I can live for a year on that kinda money!!"), or b) why Ted would even hire Mac to kill her in the first place, since the chosen method of killing is poison in her tea. In the movie's penultimate scene, Emily lies depressed in bed, the tea Ted has poisoned on a tray next to her, while Mac sneaks in downstairs....

But instead of someone getting knocked down the stairs, or even some more sex in a nightie, Emily and Mac confront her husband during his first sermon in front of a live television audience. Ted has a congregation that's more hootin' and hollerin' than any Caucasian could hope for, and they gasp appropriately when Emily accuses Ted of murder and when Mac plays them a recording of his conversation with Ted in the leather bar.

Ted, not going down like that, grabs a gun from a nearby state trooper and shoots Mac in the chest. He then holds it up to Emily's head. Perhaps it's the non-DIB in her belly, but Emily stands her guard. She's finally able to disarm Ted with the immortal words, "You were right about one thing, Ted, there's no crashing God's party."

After Ted has put down the gun, everyone crowds around outside the church while Mac receives a Band-Aid for his gunshot wound. Before the cops can take him away (for violating his parole?), he and Emily share an emotional scene. Luckily for him, she's not pissed that he spent their last 10 interactions screaming at her, threatening her, and pretending to be her IB. She just wants to know why he didn't run away! "For you, and our baby." He says. "You taught me something about love and faith...I wish I could be more like you." They make out like illicit lovers who don't use protection--and who are NOT related, thank you very much!--in front of the entire congregation. Then the cops haul him away.

True love, Lifetime style...I just hope there's a sequel!